talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
