i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
