I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
