What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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