Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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