just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
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