Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Randomize
