Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
