What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
