just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
