Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
