quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Randomize
