Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize