oh god the rape fog is back!
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
