when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
