hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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