He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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