you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
