butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
