I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
