Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
