the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Where are you guys?
Drunk
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