I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Randomize
