That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
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