She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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