i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Randomize
