you traded sex for a burrito?
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
You're breaking my sexual little heart
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize