I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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