the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
