oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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