he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
