is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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