Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize