Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
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