I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
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