I can tuck mytits in my pants
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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