Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
