so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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