You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize