walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
