So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize