I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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