I CAN MOONWALK!
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
