Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
