We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
