Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
