what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
kristin has been a bad kristin
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
