he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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