She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize