Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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