there was a trapeze. enough said
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
