Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
