DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
