Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Just pee around me
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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