ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
