I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
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