We're like a lot better than the average bears
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
