Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
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