Life is so much better after having sex.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
