the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
