I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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